22.6.14
Guess that there's something doesn't seem right between us but I just don't know what is it...
No matter how much we try, we fixed it but then we will be ending up with another matter that pops out from no where...
It's tiring though always finding ways to fix our relationship...
Although we don't have a real fight or a real quarrel with each other before but we have a lot of disagreements although we always find ways to fix them but there's just too many of them,
I always wonder are we really meant to be together~
I always wonder are we right to be together~
I always wonder what will we become after we break up~
I thought that only I will be the one who keep complaining about us,
about how did we ended up like this,
about why did we ended up like this,
about when did we started to become different...
And I think back, maybe it's just we don't really know each other well at first so we thought that we are a match...
Again, I will be the one asking you that why can't we go back to how we used to be?
I thought that you didn't even care... Ironically, you asked me the same question too...
To me, you are a positive-minded person which it's good but I'm not that kind of person any more...
I used to be like you... When problems arise, I would say everything will be fine, it just takes time....
And you are the one who keep convincing me to move along with life and don't look back and also telling me that everything will change, it just depends on changing to be good or bad...
Yes, I do understand that everything will not remain the same forever... even us...
And you also told me that you won't try to become the same person as before but you will love me more...
I wanted to trust you... But you know I don't take promises...
I don't want to get my hopes up and watch them fall again and again...
And also, maybe you will be happy without me...
Sometimes when you are down, I'm not the one who makes you happy, I'm not the one who will sit beside of you and comfort you and make you smile again...
I'm not the right girl for you and isn't that indicates my existence is unnecessary to you?
Suddenly I felt lost and exhausted, guess I've been single for a long time and this is my first relationship and I'm not getting used to it?
And also by this post, can you see that we have different points of view on life...
I just want you to think thoroughly that should you get along without me or... ?
I was questioning myself that I liked him is because of how am I being treated by him and not that how he makes me feel and breaking up with him makes me that I have nothing.. So I was selfish and I ignored those feelings and problems and continue to be with him... But I realize I cannot run away from what am I feeling because those feelings just keep haunting me~
I used to comfort those people to not let go easily....
I do not understand why did they break up or let go so easily while they gone through so many ups and downs to be together.... Now I finally understand that a relationship is hard to maintain.
When I was younger… I’d put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms.
Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose.
Slept with all the stuffed animals as a child so none of them got offended..
Had that one pen with 4 colours, and tried to push all the buttons at once.
Poured soda into the cap and acting like I were taking shots.
The hardest decision was choosing which Nintendo game to play.
Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they’re taking too long to come out or you had to pee.
Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed.
Used to think that the moon followed my car.
Watching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race.
Went on the comp just to use Paint.
The only ‘fake’ friends I had were invisible ones.
I used to sing in the shower.(now? I make life decisions in there now.)
Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy.
Getting a bruised knees heals better than a broken heart.
Remember when we were kids and couldn't wait to grow up.. what the hell were we thinking?
I wished that I could be like a kid without that much of worries compare to an adult... Who wouldn't?
But think back, I did say that I wish to grow up faster ! I wish to be an adult faster ! I wish to earn money ! I wish to leave school and do not need to go for tuition ! That's a kid's dream right ? Regret saying that now wouldn't help much though...
No matter how much we try, we fixed it but then we will be ending up with another matter that pops out from no where...
It's tiring though always finding ways to fix our relationship...
Although we don't have a real fight or a real quarrel with each other before but we have a lot of disagreements although we always find ways to fix them but there's just too many of them,
I always wonder are we really meant to be together~
I always wonder are we right to be together~
I always wonder what will we become after we break up~
I thought that only I will be the one who keep complaining about us,
about how did we ended up like this,
about why did we ended up like this,
about when did we started to become different...
And I think back, maybe it's just we don't really know each other well at first so we thought that we are a match...
Again, I will be the one asking you that why can't we go back to how we used to be?
I thought that you didn't even care... Ironically, you asked me the same question too...
To me, you are a positive-minded person which it's good but I'm not that kind of person any more...
I used to be like you... When problems arise, I would say everything will be fine, it just takes time....
And you are the one who keep convincing me to move along with life and don't look back and also telling me that everything will change, it just depends on changing to be good or bad...
Yes, I do understand that everything will not remain the same forever... even us...
And you also told me that you won't try to become the same person as before but you will love me more...
I wanted to trust you... But you know I don't take promises...
I don't want to get my hopes up and watch them fall again and again...
And also, maybe you will be happy without me...
Sometimes when you are down, I'm not the one who makes you happy, I'm not the one who will sit beside of you and comfort you and make you smile again...
I'm not the right girl for you and isn't that indicates my existence is unnecessary to you?
Suddenly I felt lost and exhausted, guess I've been single for a long time and this is my first relationship and I'm not getting used to it?
And also by this post, can you see that we have different points of view on life...
I just want you to think thoroughly that should you get along without me or... ?
I was questioning myself that I liked him is because of how am I being treated by him and not that how he makes me feel and breaking up with him makes me that I have nothing.. So I was selfish and I ignored those feelings and problems and continue to be with him... But I realize I cannot run away from what am I feeling because those feelings just keep haunting me~
I used to comfort those people to not let go easily....
I do not understand why did they break up or let go so easily while they gone through so many ups and downs to be together.... Now I finally understand that a relationship is hard to maintain.
When I was younger… I’d put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms.
Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose.
Slept with all the stuffed animals as a child so none of them got offended..
Had that one pen with 4 colours, and tried to push all the buttons at once.
Poured soda into the cap and acting like I were taking shots.
The hardest decision was choosing which Nintendo game to play.
Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they’re taking too long to come out or you had to pee.
Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed.
Used to think that the moon followed my car.
Watching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race.
Went on the comp just to use Paint.
The only ‘fake’ friends I had were invisible ones.
I used to sing in the shower.(now? I make life decisions in there now.)
Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy.
Getting a bruised knees heals better than a broken heart.
Remember when we were kids and couldn't wait to grow up.. what the hell were we thinking?
I wished that I could be like a kid without that much of worries compare to an adult... Who wouldn't?
But think back, I did say that I wish to grow up faster ! I wish to be an adult faster ! I wish to earn money ! I wish to leave school and do not need to go for tuition ! That's a kid's dream right ? Regret saying that now wouldn't help much though...
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